Managing My Life Online Resources

• HumaNext, in association with Managing My Life Publishing and Training Inc. is delighted to introduce you to a series of 11 Managing My Life wellness and productivity e-Courses which deal with the topics of stress, time, e-mail management, change, health, parenting, retirement, money, career planning and job search techniques.
• These are quality programs which were developed over a span of 25 years by a team of experienced professionals, all experts in their respective fields.
• The programs have been used with more than 100,000 individuals from all walks of life in many different organizations.
• We are also pleased to introduce you to our customized multi-media publishing services.
• Read more on this page..

We hope that you have by now downloaded and completed our INSPIRING EDUCATIONAL GIFT: Managing Change With Enthusiasm and Self-Confidence. If not, you can download our GIFT by going to: DOWNLOAD GIFT www.managingmylife.net/humanext.asp

Also, please remember that at the end of our GIFT you will find DISCOUNT COUPONS for you or members of your family, friends or colleagues for one of the Managing My Life programs.

QUESTION: I worry a great deal all the time about everything: my work, my kids, money, my parents, my husband, and so on. It doesn't stop. I am considered to be the worry addict in the family. I know it doesn't do me any good but I don't seem to be able to stop. Any advice you can give me would be deeply appreciated.

ANSWER: You make it sound like worrying is always a bad thing. It's not. Worrying is a normal first response to uncertainty. Worrying keeps us alert and can lead us, in fact, to take positive actions. It's our way of noticing that what we expect to happen is not happening. The first reaction, that of worry, is therefore good and normal. However, When we worry a great deal and when we remain in a "worry" frame of mind for extended periods of times, then worry becomes a real problem which can cause distress and can take away a great deal of our joy of living. What to do?

• First, there has to be a real "will to change." There must be an unshakable desire to "let go" of the destructive side of worry. Like with any addictive behavior, if the "will to change" is there, the rest is easier. Unhealthy worry involves thinking continually about the problem or the situation or the person we are worried about. So once we begin to worry, we need to quickly realize that we are in fact worrying.
• Once we have made that realization, we can ask ourselves the following question: What are some of the things we can to deal with that situation, to help that person and so on. Then it's REALLY important to make a complete list of the actions that we can take to deal with that situation or to help the person we are concerned about. Making the list is very useful because it helps us clarify the concrete things we can do, now or later, to help us deal with that concern.
• If there are things we can do NOW, it is important to attend to them. If there are things we can do later, we should attend to them at the appropriate time. Once we have done everything we can NOW, but find ourselves continuing to worry, we then need to shift our thinking. First, we can calm ourselves.
• One tool that is available to help us do specifically that, is the Managing My Life Deep Relaxation Exercises which can be used during the day and also at night to help us sleep better.
• Another thing we can do, which can really help shift our thinking, is to keep ourselves busy taking on an activity which absorbs our total attention. It does not matter what we do, provided the activity absorbs our total and complete attention. Using affirmations can also be very useful. We can repeat mentally throughout the day some of the affirmations which have been made available to us on the Managing My Life Deep Relaxation Exercises audio tracks or we can make up our own.
• If we are "spiritual" then repeating a prayer frequently can also be very helpful, especially if we are dealing with a situation that we cannot do anything about.

We hope that you have by now downloaded and completed our INSPIRING EDUCATIONAL GIFT: Managing Change With Enthusiasm and Self-Confidence. If not, you can download our GIFT by going to:

DOWNLOAD GIFT (www.managingmylife.net/humanext.asp ) Also, please remember that at the end of our GIFT you will find DISCOUNT COUPONS for you or members of your family, friends or colleagues for one of the Managing My Life programs.

(c) Reproduced with permission from: George Beshara Author of Managing My Life: Managing Stress All rights reserved.

Question: My job requires me to be accessible to the 16 people who report to me. I also need to be frequently in contact with other department heads and occasionally with clients. My responsibilities also involve a lot of organizing, planning and administrative work, which require a lot concentration. How do I really manage my time when there is a steady stream of people at my door?

Answer: It's a difficult problem. You probably feel that you are in a catch 22 situation. You feel you need to be constantly accessible to others, yet you also feel you need time during which your door can be closed so that you can get some of your other work done. Let's begin with the people who report to you.

The questions you need to ask yourself are: When staff members approach you, do they approach you with problems or with solutions? Do they feel free to come in at any time, or have you assigned specific time periods for an open-door policy - subject of course to emergencies? Do staff members have the authority to make decisions about handling the problems they want to discuss with you or do they constantly need your approval? Do staff members know the procedures to be able to handle their job effectively or do they need additional training? Does the same type of problems keep surfacing or are they different? Are department procedures and solutions to problems well documented? Can some of the problems be addressed in regular weekly meetings instead of individually? What would really happen if you were less accessible?

I suggest you keep track of the answers to these questions for a period a couple of weeks, so that you can revise your answers based on the experiences you have had with staff members over those two weeks. It's at that time that you can decide what is needed to help ensure that your staff member's work more effectively and more independently. You may insist, for example, that from now on staff members only approach you with proposed solutions to problems. You may decide to assign to the more experienced members of your team the responsibility of assisting the less experienced members who will then contact them first when they have problems. You can also establish some rules for department heads. For example, you can let them know that you will personally answer your phone and return calls at specific hours each day and that you have blocked the following hours each day in order to handle some of your administrative work.

We hope that you have by now downloaded and completed our INSPIRING EDUCATIONAL GIFT: Managing Change With Enthusiasm and Self-Confidence. If you have, we would love to hear from you. If not, you can download our GIFT by going to: (www.managingmylife.net/humanext.asp )

(c) George Beshara, author of Managing My Life: Managing My Time

ANSWER: Like most people, you feel stressed because you need time for yourself every day. And the only way you will make this happen is if you make "taking time for yourself" one of your daily top priorities. The fact is that we all have 24 hours a day. Typically we sleep 7 to 8 hours a day which leaves us with 16 to 17 hours each day for our work and our personal lives. I suggest that you plan to take at least one hour a day for yourself. How will you find that hour or hour and a half?

It's really not that difficult if you look at how you are spending your time every day. It will mean negotiating with others at work and at home - it will mean organizing yourself differently - it will mean learning to say no to unreasonable demands - it will mean some redistribution of tasks at work and at home - it will mean eliminating some of these tasks that are simply not that necessary - it may mean bringing in help for housekeeping or arranging for a regular babysitter once or twice a week.

I know two families with children who have found a mutual solution in order to free up some time for themselves. The two families are neighbors and became friends. Both families have dinner together twice a week This means that each family cooks one less time each week. And once a week each couple baby sits the four children which gives the other parents a night out. What can you do during your time off?

I suggest that you do things that you enjoy and which would be beneficial to you at the same time - like exercising, visiting your close friends, going out to see a movie, going out to dinner. I also suggest that you develop the daily habit of partaking in a 20 minute deep relaxation exercise such as the one available to you in the Managing My Life programs (A free gift is offered on this page). The end result of making these changes in your life is that you will be more productive at work while being an even better parent and spouse. Feeling more relaxed, means that you are more focused, more attentive to everything you do. It also means that you will be able to face the numerous demands made on you at work and by your family members with more patience, enthusiasm and energy.

(c) 2009. Copyright: George Beshara, author of Managing My Life: Managing My Time .